Session Four is all about ‘Energizing Our Communications’.
The ability to express oneself with great charisma is a talent that eludes many. When you are around such a person, their seamless storytelling skills aren’t consciously registered. Instead, their expert social calibration leaves you with a feeling of harmony. It’s as though they’re finely tuning an old radio to the desired frequency.
Dale Carnegie suggests the use of gestures. In (moderately) using gestures to articulate your ideas, you release nervous energy. While gesticulating wildly will not imbue you with the charisma of 2008’s Barack Obama, a quick YouTube search for ‘Tony Robbins Live’ will promptly convince you to add a little more movement to your future interactions. However, this advice is not to be misconstrued as ‘always worry about what your body is doing’.
Quite the opposite.
It’s all about communicating with authenticity. Doing what feels right in the moment, without fear of judgment.
Easier said than done, right?
You’ve probably heard the hackneyed expression ‘You shouldn’t care what people think’. Sure, it’s been beaten into our collective subconscious.
Nonetheless, it seems like this stale expression’s most fundamental meaning is still overlooked.
Maybe some inner dialog will help me to better illustrate this point:
“Hmm, I have this unconventional idea I’d like to share with this group of people I hardly know.”
“No one is really stepping up, I don’t want to seem like a try-hard…”
“It’s probably not the kind of thing they’re looking for, I wouldn’t want to make an ass of myself this early on.”
“Might as well agree with what’s being said so as to not offend anyone.”
This form of self-censorship arises from ‘Caring what others think’. In lieu of censoring yourself, ASSUME VALUE. Though you may not be the person with the most social clout in the room, assume that what you have to say is gold. Express yourself with conviction. Hell, fake it ‘till you make it.
Your value shouldn’t be determined by external, trivial social cues.
Know your own worth. Derive it from the knowledge that you are living through your own intentions, you are expressing yourself from an authentic place.
Ask yourself: Am I being true to myself? My intentions? My innermost desires?
On to brass tacks: the LIONS process. LIONS is Dale Carnegie’s go to process for effectively communicating a skill, concept, or idea.
Let’s break it down:
L Language Easily Understood
O Organize Thoughts
N Narrow Subject to Key Points
Maybe this Dale Carnegie stuff is finally starting to rub in: In utilizing the LIONS concept, I was awarded the ‘Outstanding Performance’ award for the evening’s round of presentations.
I chose to share some interesting information about vocal tonality. Expect an article devoted to the subject soon.